Songfic Back to December
by countrywolf22
Summary: Katniss's apology to Gale after years of silence NOT a oneshot *MOCKINGJAY SPOILERS* oh and no flames please.  It's A LOT better than the sucky summary... Characters OOC
1. Chapter 1

**KATNISS POV:**

I'm going to do it. I reach for the phone and dial the number and, while it rings, I try to figure out what I'm going to say to him in my head. 'Hey, it's Katniss! Sorry I haven't called in a few years after breaking your heart and leaving you for dead! I just wanted to ask you if you would leave behind your life in District 2 and come see me here in 12!' The more I think about it, the stupider it sounds. When I finally hear his voice, I freeze.

"Hello?" he says. Now his tone sounds much more agitated. "Hello?"

"Hey Gale."

"Katniss" he says. I'm surprised how hostile he sounds. Well, I suppose he has the right to hate me after all these years.

"Hey, um… I was just… wondering… if you would want to come visit me in 12…?"

After 4 minutes, I wonder if he just put the phone down and left until he speaks again.

"Why?"

"Uh, 'cause… I miss you!" I say in a desperate tone. "Your family misses you too Gale and I can't find any reason to go see them without you here."

After more waiting, he says, "Fine. I can leave in a week."

"Okay. See you then!" I say as I try to manage an upbeat tone. When Gale replies, his tone is flat and monotone.

"Whatever."

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><p><strong>Okay so sorry this is so short but I just wanted your opinion if I should continue this or not! So press that beautiful little button right there and REVIEW! :) <strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE HUNGER GAMES! If I did, Gale would be with Katniss and Peeta would be withering up in a little hole, crying his wittle heart out…**

**CHAPTER 2: THE NIGHTMARE**

**Katniss POV:**

His answer is the last straw. I start to cry. I drown myself in my misery and self-pity and how much he must hate me. After Peeta tried to kill me all those times, he was sent to the Capitol to be put in the insanity ward. After he left, I felt the fiery hole that he tried to fill up, but completely failed at doing, burning through my chest, consuming my entire body.

"Katniss Everdeen, the girl on fire!" I mumble to myself through my now silent tears. Suddenly the door rings, probably Greasy Sae, trying to make me eat again, but I pull myself together and answer the door.

"Hello Katniss!" Sae says.

"Hey Greasy Sae."

"Did you eat today, or do want me to cook again?"

"Would you cook something for me?"

"Of course! That's what I'm here for!" she says with a smile on her face. I manage a smile and while she cooks, I tell her about my conversation with Gale.

"It's great that he's coming home after so long."

"But the thing is that he seems pressured into coming. I don't think he even wants to see my face again! His tone hurt me! It made me feel horrible and worthless!"

"Sweetie, it will be okay. You two were the best of friends. You'll work it out. Don't worry" says Greasy Sae. I sigh.

"You're right. Besides, even if he doesn't forgive me, at least I'll have been able to see his face again, one last time before I die."

"That's the spirit!" After eating, I go to bed and dream about Gale and my reunion with him.

~~~~_I'm running through the woods outside of District 12. I'm not even sure why I'm running when I hear the ear piercing cries of pain. I know where he is once I hear the song. I hear the mockingjays around me singing 'The Hanging Tree'. I run towards my destination, the ancient hanging tree which was retired once the electric fence was put up, enclosing the entire district. The faster I run, the louder the music gets and the screams of pain become softer and weaker. Before I even get there, I know that I am too late. When I get there, the music stops and I see Gale Hawthorne's dead body, covered in bloody marks left by the whip from when he was caught hunting, hung up on the tree. His necklace of rope, and his heart, is scorched and burned black by my fire. Suddenly, the mutts with the tributes' eyes leap out at me and before I can run, they slowly scrape their razor sharp claws down my body. My vision is clouded by the intense pain I feel and the blood running down from my face. The last thing I see before I scream myself awake is Gale looking at me and without warning, he says, "Now do you see why I left? Why I couldn't be near you any longer? You, Girl on Fire, have burned me beyond recognition and left me behind you to suffer and die. Please, just leave me alone and let me die in peace."_

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" I scream at the top of my lungs.

"It was only a dream, it was only a dream" I mumble to myself, trying to keep myself sane during one of the worst nightmares I've had in a long time. I try to forget the painful reverie and go back to sleep, but I can't. When I look at the clock on my wall though, it's only 5:43 AM so I would've been up now anyways hunting and preparing the house for Gale's arrival. So now I have to get to work. Suddenly I realize what a horrible task it's going to be. I haven't cleaned the house since I've come here years ago. I inwardly sigh to myself and begin the dreadful duty.

The first room that I start with is the worst- my bedroom. I have dirty clothes, half eaten plates of food, and empty bottles of alcohol. I even find dead animals hidden under my enormous piles of trash. I start by washing all my clothes and throwing away all of the trash. My room is considerably clean now. I rearrange everything and BOOM! I've got a damn good room! Once I clean all of the other rooms which were much easier than the first, I take a long awaited shower. As I watch dead skin fall off me like snowflakes, the phone suddenly rings and I quickly grab a towel and race to the phone. When I pick it up, I get one heck of a surprise. It's Gale.


	3. Chapter 3

**Must we always meet like this? I OWN NOTHING**

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><p>"Hi Gale, what's up?" I ask in complete surprise. I haven't heard from him in days and he randomly calls me during the middle of the night? It's really weird, but I'm not ungrateful. I'm really glad that he called.<p>

"I'm here" are the only two words that he speaks and the ones that make my day. Even before I can hang up, I run straight out the door towards a sullen looking Gale. I give him a huge bear hug and he returns, but suddenly he lets go and I feel like I did something wrong. He clears his throat and I look down to find that I'm still only wearing my fluffy white towel and I awkwardly step back. As I look down, he hesitantly laughs at my own embarrassment.

"I missed you Katniss."

"I've missed you too Gale. Did you see your family yet?"

"No, it's too late at night" he says with a sigh.

"Come inside. We both need our sleep" I say as I think about where I want him to be sleeping. Next to me would work… No! He doesn't like you that way Katniss! Just back up, and be friends.

"Yea, that's a good idea."

"So…um… how's it been? I mean, work and everything?" I ask, honestly curious, while we walk back to my house.

"It's been… good" he says, obviously on the edge.

He's probably afraid that I might go psycho and start screaming at him about the bomb and the rebellion and blame him for everything else in my life. The last time I saw him, he gave me the arrow. After that though, I couldn't detach his picture from my sister's death so I left my memories of him burning in my fireplace. We said goodbye and I never saw him again.

It was a horrible mistake, but I was too proud to apologize so I guess I'm sorry. I just wish I could say it out loud. I wish I could go back in time and stop myself from letting him go, but I can't so all I have left are the memories of December, before he left and before I died inside.

I thought that when he left, Peeta would free me from the fire and anger that was trapped in me from the Games and life before, but no. I thought Gale was trapping me, but in reality, he let me go. Peeta was always stopping me from doing what I wanted to do like taking my anger out on something or yelling out at someone because he wrapped his arms around me kept me from moving and being free while Gale let me rant and yell and he never minded when I had to just punch something to get my anger out and, in turn, I let him do the same. But then, I missed Gale and I felt trapped by my own feelings and emotions for him. I wish I had realized sooner, before I had to go to the Hunger Games, what Gale was to me and what I was to him. Again I wish that I could go back in time…

"Katniss, what are you doing?" Gale yells out to me. Before I realize what's going on though, I walk right into the side of the house, missing the door by 6 inches.

"I guess that's what I get for wishing." I mumble angrily to myself. I wish I could go back in time to stop me from doing _that_.

"Katniss, are you okay?" Gale asks with a not-so-worried expression on his face. He actually looks like he's trying not to laugh

"I'm fine." I grumble angrily, but forgetting I was wearing a loose towel, I stand up with my arms raised above my head. The towel drops and Gale immediately turns and walks-runs- into the house without another word. I grab the towel and race inside, trying to wrap it around my body. I see Gale's beet red face, obviously embarrassed but trying to act nonchalant, most likely mirroring my own. Even though I heard stories about what Gale did at the slag heap, he's never seen _that _much of me. No one ever has.

"Um…H-help yourself to any f-food…I'll be…r-r-right back." I stutter out and race up the stairs to quickly put on some clothes. I grab whatever was lying on my bed and change, having no idea what I was wearing until I'm at the top of the stairs. I got cold and I felt strangely underdressed. When I looked down, I was wearing my only pajamas that weren't in the wash, something that Haymitch got me to impress Peeta before he had to go the insanity ward. It was black and red, lacy lingerie, and was covered in sparkly orange and gold flames. I put it under my bed in a box, never expecting to even touch it again, but I guess I took it out when I was cleaning the house. Once again, I race to my room change, but this time, I actually _paid attention_ to what I chose to wear. I grabbed a pair of forest green sweatpants and a black t-shirt. I raced downstairs, sliding on my white socks into the kitchen where Gale was eating an apple with a bemused expression on his face. Red still tinged his cheeks from my last, um, _incident._

"Hey." I say sheepishly.

"Hey. What's up?"

"What do you mean?" I ask Gale, honestly confused. I told him everything on the phone when I last called.

"There really isn't anything much new." Now it's his turn to be confused. He raises an eyebrow questioning my truthfulness. "What? There is honestly nothing new in my life! I still live in the same house, same furniture, I look the same, the only thing different about me is that I stopped hunti-" I stop. Gale looks shocked, most likely because I told him I stopped hunting. I stopped hunting a couple of years ago because there was no need to. Nowadays, we get fresh meat for a low cost and I have enough money that I've been saving up from selling furniture, meat, and greens and the winning money from the Games that I would never have to work again.

"What? Why did you stop hunting?" Gale asks, with a befuddled look on his face. I then explain my reasoning and he thinks for a second.

"Do you hate hunting?" he asks, so low, I'm not sure if he even said anything.

"No" I say in the same low voice "I just don't find any reason to do it. I mean, you stopped hunting too, right?" I ask, hopeful that he agrees with me. With his new fancy job in District 2, he surely has enough money to get by with fresh meat, greens, water, and other necessities like clothing.

"No Katniss. I didn't stop hunting. I never have and I never will. Hunting is a part of me, a part of _you_ and you can't just forget about it. It's the one thing that keeps me sane with my job and it saves me money. It reminds me of what is important and what I can't live without. It reminds me of my family and those I love, including you." And with that, he walks upstairs to one of the guest bedrooms and shuts the door behind him.

I stand there in the middle of the kitchen, shocked at what he just said. Eventually, I just collapse in my bed upstairs, unable to sleep from a new nightmare. The worst part was that it wasn't me in pain; Gale was. I could see myself leaving though Gale's eyes, I could feel his pain, and I could see what he thought. All these memories of me ignoring him while I was wrapped up in someone who wanted to hurt me too much to love me. Christmas' and birthdays passed without me acknowledging them in any way at all. I never even called.

Suddenly, the memory of us going up to the lake and me teaching Gale how to swim filled my mind. I remember every tiny detail; each movement I made to every one of his touches that set my skin on fire.

"_Katniss, where are you taking me?" Gale asks me in an irritated tone. So far, we have only shot two squirrels after walking 2 hours in around 100 degree weather. I've been meaning to take him to the lake to teach him how to swim, but I've been apprehensive about it because it was me and my father's place. It's the one place that__ never been corrupted by my memories about Panem or District 12._

"_Just be patie— never mind. But we'll be there soon, don't worry!" I say, plastering a smile on my face because I know he isn't tolerant of waiting. After about 20 more minutes of walking, we finally reach our destination- the lake. I turn around to see Gale's face, but he's already walking up to it in awe._

"_I have never seen anything like this!" he calls out with a huge grin on his face. I don't think I've ever seen him this happy in BOTH of our lives._

"_It's beautiful. I brought you here because I thought that you would like to know how to swim." I answer with a sly grin._

"_Thanks, Catnip. This means a lot to me." And after a full minute of just staring at each other, he starts stripping down to his boxers. At first I am truly confused, but I remember that I was going to teach him how to swim. I start to undress, but leave a t-shirt on to cover up my chest. I jump in the water and pull him in with me. The water's all the way up to my neck but only halfway up to Gale's chest. I forget how he's so tall. _

"_Okay, so you move your arms in a half-moon motion, pulling the water behind you. Then your legs move like scissors; up and down, keeping them straight and your toes pointed." Gale's face screws up in concentration and begins to practice the moves in the water. He catches on surprisingly fast and even beats me in a race to the other side of the lake._

"_Well, I guess that concludes the lesson?" I say with a curious voice because I really don't know what's next._

"_Not yet, Catnip!" he calls out with a laugh and dives beneath the murky water. I look around; trying to find his ripples in the water, but suddenly, something grabs my legs and shoots me up into the air! I scream as I fall back to the water, but instead I land in Gale's hard, muscled arms._

"_Gale! What the hell?" I scream, but he knows I'm not serious because I'm holding back laughter the whole time. He begins his melodious laugh and I follow his lead, but our laughter dies and a silence envelopes us a blanket. Not even the animals in the forest move, as if knowing how important this moment could be. _

_Slowly, Gale moves closer to me and I close my eyes, expecting to feel his warm lips on my cold ones, but instead, he just kisses my forehead like he always does. 'He's just a big brother. Nothing else' I tell myself, but I still feel a sharp pain in my chest. _

"_We better go, Catnip. It looks like rain." With those words, I pry my eyes away from his and look up to find that he's right. The sky is an angry purplish grey with bursts of lightning flashing on the horizon. We start to pack up and head back home._

I almost forgot the effect he had on me, but I refused to acknowledge my feelings. I can't believe I was so stupid back then- wait, yes I can. I was always clueless when it came to emotions and feelings. I guess that's why I always threw myself into keeping my family alive to keep me from thinking about those retched things. And then, after I finally realized my true feelings, I was too scared to admit it to the world. I didn't stop him that day and that is the worst mistake I ever made.

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><p><strong>Okay so seriously people, I hate it when people do this, but I NEED reviews because I'm stuck. This is how far I got so far and my brain is broken...There's not really a central conflict so I am on my KNEES BEGGING for you guys (and girls) to review and help me out! Or pm me if your a member. Okay so if there aren't at least 5 reviews, I'm not updating :(<strong>

**Until we meet again, PEACE OUT PEOPLE OF THE INTERNET! :)**


	4. PREVEIW

**I AM SORRY THAT I HAVEN'T UPDATED FOR SO LONG! I'M STILL WORKING ON THIS CHAPTER BUT FOR NOW, HERE'S THE PREVEIW! AND PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PM ME WITH IDEAS FOR BOTH THIS AND MY OTHER STORY! IM STUCK!**

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><p>As the sun just begins to rise over the sky, I crack my eyes open to my room, bathed in orange and gold light. Just for a second, I believe that I'm 16 again and I'm about to go out of the shack I call a home and meet Gale at <em>our<em> rock. Just for a moment, I'm happy. But then the last five years come rushing back to me and flood my mind with memories that I would give anything to forget. A scream begins to form in my throat, but when I open my mouth, nothing comes out. I quickly get out of my warm bed and race downstairs to find Gale sitting at the kitchen table with some kind of cooked bird in his hand and my bow and sheath of arrows beside him. At first I'm surprised to see him up, but the shock is quickly tinged with anger that he used _my _bows and arrows.

"What do you think you're doing?" I say in an eerily calm voice that surprises me.

"I'm eating breakfast."

"What are you doing with my arrows?" I say with red anger tingeing my tone.


End file.
